S o I was driving home from work the other night, at about 100mph on the highway through Philly, listening to the live feed when I felt this strange sensation.

H ere I was, moving through the atmosphere at great speed, but feeling like I was slowing down. My senses dulled but my hands were steady on the wheel. My foot was feathering the clutch with severe precision, as the gears licked each other until they kissed completely.

P hilly roared upon me like a ferocious predator, but I ably administered control with my whip, maneuvering deftly so as to avoid the piercing of its jaw.

O nly I was aware of the cacophany beset upon my ears. The others around me were going about their lives toiling in ignorance as they progressed between the yellows and whites.

N ow I was moving vertically, floating upon the the thick atmosphere of boredom and disgust and rage expelled by other drivers on that highway.

G azing down upon the city, I was gathering my thoughts and focusing my will to drive me upon this cloud of workaday mediocrity when I heard the sound of thousands... no, MILLIONS! of friends and partners in this excursion of life bursting through a little window of digital cameraderie.

L ifting my car into the air, I felt full with the force of collective cognizance, as a swarm of messages flooded my neural paths, my ear drums and retinas worked in unison, conveying the concern of my new friends.... "SLOW DOWN" they shouted. that's too fast!.. and then I blacked out.

E xasperated, I awoke in front of my house. I was feeling refreshed and invigorated and told them I made it. If only every trip home could be like this.....

Thanks for reading! And yes, this is an entry for the Philly show. Hit that little heart looking thing up in the corner if you liked it, or you can just hit it if you happen to not be wearing pants at the moment. (mojojim I'm looking at you....ok not REALLY looking at you, I mean that would be weird)

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over 5 years

and since Simon was asking for dirty jokes, here's two:

what do you call a guy with a blue penis?
a tight-fisted wanker!

why do elephants have four feet?
cuz in the animal kingdom, six inches just doesn't cut it!